Gloom and awe.

17/10/17





Here are three paintings selected for the upcoming LSA exhibition at the Leicester New Walk Museum. Each is a painting of a person, though they are not portraits, and they are intentionally general rather than specific. The first one (the title taken from Larkins' 'Aubade') '...a special way of being afraid' resembles a death mask and intimates at dying, although I think the sitter is also living. It follows that I think we are all simultaneously both.

 The second, 'Girl with constant fog' was inspired by a description made by someone very close, who struggles with ADHD and its devastating effects on her clarity of thinking. The 'fog' is not so much represented, as hinted at in the psychology of the image. It is rather gloomy, simple and sparse. She has to a certain extent, disappeared into the background. Her skin tones are intentionally close to the surrounding area. Her head seemingly floats, rather like our minds float somewhere unknown, in the physicality of our bodies. I have returned to drawing people (after years of avoidance!) with the intention of revealing our various mental states.

*'girl in constant fog' won me a cash prize in the exhibition from sponsors Charles Stanley. A nice surprise- though the day after receiving the cheque, the boiler needed a fix... such is life!




 The third, 'Selfie (with shade)' is a loose and slighlty tongue in cheek painting of my younger self, with a visualised presence (death, a 'familiar'?) I was not being too specific about the ‘presence’, but knew it was there! Of course, it may not be death- birds can symbolise just about anything.

As with any of my paintings, the marks, the way I apply and revise the media, and the improvisational and intuitive responses, are a significant part of the finished whole. If I were still at college, they would describe this as being about painting. I've come to discover that the process of making art is actually about being human in this strange, beautiful and frightening place. The debris of the process (the artwork) is also representative of this. It can be shared, we recognise the feelings and thoughts, which somehow become embodied in the mark-making.
At some point, not too long ago in the larger scheme, a person put their hand in some mud (or blood) and pressed it against a cave wall. I understand their awe, because I have similar feelings every time I make a mark.